Shame - what is it? What a shame it even exists.
I have been thinking lately about shame verse guilt. As I have been coaching some struggling entrepreneurs, I wonder if shame is a big part of inaction, blame, and lack of courage. As Brené Brown states in her famous podcast (see below her interview clip), 'I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful - it's holding something we've done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort, unlike shame which is unhelpful.' Shame can affect how we feel about ourselves. It's not just about a single act but about feeling fundamentally flawed or inadequate. I wonder if people moved their sense of shame to guilt, they might be able to make better decisions and take the necessary actions to make their business and life thrive.
I have been coaching several businesses over the last 12 months, which I have thoroughly loved as I believe I can truly add value. These days I don't want to contribute in a professional sense unless I can add value to another. Some of my businesses owners show a deep sense of shame as it is tough out there at the moment. Mentally, they fall into a deep sadness and often blame or enact rather than change their mindset to see the opportunities. A good mindset is important to propel forward with change, integrity, and courage. I work with my entrepreneurs to help them with their mindset and ensure their business fundamentals are intact, like margins and cash flow etc.
I believe my view has been created because I am connected with so many businesses over the years, and I see many of them struggle, succeed, plateau, etc. It is always changing and that is okay. That is why there are so few entrepreneurs, as it is a rollercoaster ride. I am part of an amazing Entrepreneurial Organisation where many of the businesses are well beyond mine, and most of the owners are seasoned entrepreneurs. In EO, no one sees shame in difficult times; they see opportunity and learnings. That comes about when you are deeply connected with like-minded people rather than covering up or being scared to be honest about the state of things. One must inspect at the micro and macro levels of all parts of a business, including how one leads. Networks are important; there are far too many lonely business owners out there who could be excelling rather than feeling shame. Connect with a partner, a business coach, a business group so you can share stories and more. This musing was not meant to be a sales pitch but I do have one more place left in my business coaching work so email me if you are interested - businesscoachingnz@gmail.com, first in first served.
On the flipside, I believe entrepreneurialism is alive and well in our young ones. This week I was a mentor for The Young Enterprise Organisation. I was a 'motherly' shark to 200 students, and I loved hearing about their ideas. From apps about our Southern lights, to products that help prevent sunburn to fragrances to help with smelly school bags! And I love all the sustainable focus, of course. I suggested many of them to come and see us at our showroom at www.nilproducts.com. Bring it on, kids! The only way New Zealand will become productive is through innovation and entrepreneurialism, not selling houses to each other. I want my kids to live in a country that is productive and innovative while caring for the most vulnerable. Lets make this happen.
Till April's monthly musing.
Anna xx
PS so over the last month I have been running my emails and written work through numerous different AI's and interestingly for this mailer the AI had no suggestions. I take that as a compliment as I am assuming not too many people have written on the topic of shame/guilt in relation to business mindset! But my assumption could be totally off. LOL
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